Bella Vida by Letty

Truth, Opinions & Lies: How to Deal With Rumors

A Lie Can Travel Halfway Around the World While the Truth is Still Putting On Its Shoes

A Lie Can Travel Half Way Around the World While the Truth is Still Putting On Its Shoes

When you are a descendant of the invisible people’s the truth becomes sacred. At least it did for me. For a long time I held ‘the truth’ close to me and it became precious. I would use it often as a weapon, whipping it about and clobbering lies as hard as could until finally pounding the life out of the lie. But holding on so tightly to the truth became a burden. It’s painful to be rejected or ignored by those who just can’t handle the truth. And I will concede, the truth can be a very hard pill to swallow. Sometimes the truth can be as blinding and searing as staring directly at the sun for a preposterous amount of time. I know I’ve been scarred by the truth way more than once. I personally just prefer the truth to being lied too.

truth quote

“Truth is neither universal nor verifiable.” Lee Gutkind

la bella vida tatoo

I found this photo while googling my brand Bella Vida. It’s not me. However, the point is, some people might believe it’s me. I posted it on facebook as an experiment and I noticed not everyone read my comment stating this was not me. My personal reaction was to laugh. I’m non judgmental about things that have nothing to do with me but I’m sure it would offend some conservative family members or potential business contacts. Yes, each person has a right to their opinion but what happens when people believe the lie?

I’m sure this has happened to everyone at one time or another regarding serious and sometimes not so serious issues be it at school, work or in your personal life. I know I was particularly vulnerable as a teen when rumors can and do inflict emotional damage.

What has helped me get past this problem is having stopped judging others. I stopped judging people long ago, and as journalist and debater it has become easier to separate opinions from facts. Each of us shapes our opinions through the narrow scope of our life experiences. No two people’s will be the same. Therefore, I understand their opinion has everything to do about them and very little about me. And I guess I’m so used to disagreeing and debating I don’t take it personally. Most of the time anyway. I can only try today to be better than I was yesterday.

Facts vs. Opinions

Facts are things demonstrated to exist or known to have existed and can be proven with evidence while opinions are judgment or belief not founded on certainty or proof rather are based on feelings, preferences or bias.

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” Marcus Aurelius

How to Deal with Rumors

Address the issue. The first thing to do is to address the issue frankly and honestly. When people don’t have complete information, they may fill in the gaps with suppositions that may not be accurate.
Set an example by refusing to get involved when others share gossip or rumors with you.
Perception is not reality. You know what’s true, and others important or close to you know what’s true. Share the truth with your family and friends who have your back.
Some people will believe the rumors. Try not to take it personally. Opinions stem from the ego and are separate from the self. A fascinating topic which Eckhart Tolle does a great job of explaining here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“The liar’s punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.” George Bernard Shaw

“Don’t waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.” Paulo Coelho

“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world…would do this, it would change the earth.” William Faulkner