As the end of the year approaches I like to take a look back and see which of my previous goals were accomplished. It helps me to understand what I focused my time on and where I placed my energy. I had a really long list of goals for 2013. Many of which I didn’t get around to. However the ones I did accomplish were things I was very passionate about like launching Bella Vida by Letty .com. Hard work has paid off and the site has grown steadily since the May launch. It is going through another growth spurt right now with an incredible increase in subscribers. Thank you to all my readers, followers and subscribers for being there every step of the way. I truly appreciate your support.
Before moving on to some tips I want to share a really wonderful inspiring quote I found while reading The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz.
“Your life is the manifestation of your dreams. It is an art.”
I find this sentiment absolutely beautiful. This year when I begin my list of goals I will include my hopes, dreams, desires and wishes. While I’m here I might as well manifest them. Why not create the world I want to see and the experiences I want to live.
After compiling my list I must strive for clarity. Creating clear goals makes them easier to achieve.
Some questions to ask when brainstorming:
Setting smaller goals have given me more confidence in my capabilities. This allows me to take greater risks and accept bigger challenges. Since I have so many goals I’ve categorized them into family, personal, business and creative. Then I will select the ones I am truly passionate about and devise a plan. From the list I will chose only a few and brainstorm the steps I will need to take to reach my goals.
Have you defined clear goals or are you fine tuning them?
I would love to hear your tips and tricks for achieving your goals. Please share them with me in the comments below.
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“You can have many great ideas in your head, but what makes the difference is the action. Without action upon an idea, there will be no manifestation, no results, and no reward.” Miguel Ruiz
“Many people flounder about in life because they do not have a purpose, an objective toward which to work.” George Halas
“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” Henry David Thoreau
“The big secret in life is there is no secret. Whatever your goal. You can get there if you’re willing to work.” Oprah Winfrey
The phrase “You better recognize!” is a way of telling someone: “I respect myself.” It draws the line of what is acceptable and unacceptable treatment. Recognition is an important means of valuing or respecting another person. It is also fundamental to understanding ourselves. I was contemplating what happens when we are not recognized in a colonized, colorized, patriarchal society which systematically classifies people by sex and color. What happens when we are not recognized by the mainstream? What happens when our faces are not reflected back to us in any positive light unless someone has gone above and beyond the so called norm? Internalized oppression is believing what society says about you. For self care and preservation I have come to the conclusion that first, we must recognize ourselves at the individual level and second seek allies.
Begin by acknowledging your existence. Approve of yourself just for being alive. You are valuable and have limitless contributions to share with the universe.
I reject the standards of the fictionalized world the media has created where certain groups are denied, forgotten and ignored. Historically women have received less education, access to opportunities, , influence, salary and are still fighting for autonomy. You do not have to climb mountains or leap hurdles to be validated.
Building a sense of self worth begins with self care. Treat yourself with the same generosity and compassion you would a friend. Self esteem is a feeling of appreciation for yourself. Consider yourself in a positive yet realistic way and take pride in that. We must do what we can to take care of ourselves if we expect to help others.
What are some of things do you do for self care?
Resources:
Here’s a great article from Psyche Central How Clinicians Practice Self Care. My favorite tip is that it’s not negotiable.
From The Wisconsin Relationship Education: Boost Your Emotional Awareness
Ways to Avoid Compassion Fatigue
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How do we heal ourselves when people attack us? My answer is that we need to bear witness to our suffering, and we need community. As artists of color, we need to form safe spaces.” Bell Hooks
“Our adversaries & causes are linked, not ranked. It’s important we remember this so we don’t miss our natural allies.” Gloria Steinem
“If you celebrate your differentness, the world will, too. It believes exactly what you tell it—through the words you use to describe yourself, the actions you take to care for yourself, and the choices you make to express yourself. Tell the world you are one-of-a-kind creation who came here to experience wonder and spread joy. Expect to be accommodated. Victoria Moran
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Audre Lorde
“My friend…care for your psyche…know thyself, for once we know ourselves, we may learn how to care for ourselves.” Socrates
Regardless of industry or career, developing your style demonstrates mastery and professionalism. Last night I was watching “The Eye Has to Travel” a documentary about the life of Diana Vreeland and found many great lessons. She was editor of Vogue magazine for many years and one of her most famous quotes is regarding style.
“Style is a way of life, without it you’re nothing.”
I agree style is everything and I’m not speaking about fashion. Style is what distinguishes you and your works from others. It is your essence communicated through voice, perspective and attitude. Your style is what ultimately shines through in your works whether you’re a designer, artist or teacher. Vreeland didn’t have a formal education but she had the keen ability to see style in others and encourage the development of it in other artists. Her employees, models and photographers all stated she would push them to do more until they produced their absolute best.
Vreeland worked within the constraints of industry which to this day is sexist, ageist and non inclusive. It’s pretty ironic but true, in an interview in the 1980’s she said highlighting the very thing that makes a person unique is what makes them beautiful and interesting. Like her, I am uninterested in fitting into any mold. For any apprentice it is okay to experiment and emulate others but ultimately you must design yourself.
In another great take away Vreeland also stated people only live through their dreams and imagination. What a wonderful perspective. If we give up on our dreams we are not living our lives to our fullest potential. Our imaginations have no limits therefore your capabilities are endless. Dream big then dream bigger. Create your ideal world.
And finally a piece of advice to artists. Give the audience what they can’t get at home. Take them somewhere. Tell a story. This was exactly what she was great at.
Have you seen the documentary? What did you think? I recommend it. You can find it on Netflix.
What are you inspired to create?
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“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” Maya Angelou
“In character, in manner, in style, in all the things, the supreme excellence is simplicity.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“A writer’s style reveals something of his spirit, his habits, his capacites, his bias…it is the Self escaping into the open.” E.B. White
It’s officially National Novel Writing Month and in addition I’m also participating in the South Florida Social Media 30 day blog challenge. Now that’s a whole lot of writing. I will do my best to write every single day. Some days it will be blog posts in addition to the novel I’m reworking. I’m a very slow writer and a novel is a huge project so I like to prepare as much as possible. In preparation for diving back in I spent the week reading about story structure .
One exercise I found helpful was thinking about the genre of the story I’m trying to tell. Readers have certain expectations. For example horror genre readers will expect to be terrified at some point while in the Fantasy genre expectations are that something magical or supernatural will happen. My story is a combination of both. The main character has supernatural abilities and there are tons of monsters and magical creatures running around causing lots of trouble terrifying the heck out of people.
What is genre?
Genre is a classification characterized by similarities in form, style, or subject matter.
Wikipedia has a crazy long list of genres you can check out HERE. I counted sixteen subcategories under the Fantasy Genre alone: contemporary, urban, dark, fables, fairy tales, epic, high fantasy, heroic, legend, magical, mythic, sword, planet, science, etc. Some subcategories of the Horror genre: ghost stories, monster, werewolf, vampire, occult, slasher, survival, etc. Reading the list is a great way to get the creative juices flowing.
How to figure out your genre.
One way to figure out your genre is to find other stories similar to yours. Clicking around on the Barnes & Noble website made me realize they didn’t have a Fantasy section, they have a Science Fiction combined with Fantasy section. After some more clicking it seems my story would fit under their Dark Fantasy section. There are some really cool authors there like Anne Rice, Ray Bradbury, Clive Barker, etc. You can do the same either online or in a real world book store. Knowing your genre will help you figure out who your audience is and what that reader is expecting from your story.
Tell me about what you’re writing today.
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“Don’t classify me, read me. I’m a writer, not a genre.” Carlos Fuentes
“I am self-educated from genre books.” Charlaine Harris
“Dismissing fantasy writing because some of it is bad is exactly like saying I’m not reading Jane Eyre because it is a romance and I know romance is crap.” China Miéville
“All fiction is a process of imagining: whatever you write, in whatever genre or medium, your task is to make things up convincingly and interestingly and new.” Neil Gaiman
“Good writing is good writing. In many ways, it’s the audience and their expectations that define a genre. A reader of literary fiction expects the writing to illuminate the human condition, some aspect of our world and our role in it. A reader of genre fiction likes that, too, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of the story.” Rosemary Clement-Moore
Will you be participating in this year’s National Novel Writing Month? I didn’t get past the first week last year but I’m going to give a shot again this year. Two very special peeps asked me to finish a story I started several years ago because they want to know how it ends. Reluctantly I pulled it out of its beautiful storage box and was pleasantly surprised as to how much I had written and how much of a developed storyline I found. This year I’m going to try working with an outline to keep me going.
These are some of my favorite quotes that inspire me to write:
“Write what should not be forgotten.” Isabel Allende
“I don’t have a method. All I do is read a lot, think a lot, and rewrite constantly. It’s not a scientific thing.” Gabriel García Márquez
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Maya Angelou
“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” Toni Morrison
“The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say.” Anaïs Nin
“Tears are words that need to be written.” Paulo Coelho
“A story is a letter that the author writes to himself, to tell himself things that he would be unable to discover otherwise.” Carlos Ruiz Zafon
“All the stories I would like to write persecute me. When I am in my chamber, it seems as if they are all around me, like little devils, and while one tugs at my ear, another tweaks my nose, and each says to me, ‘Sir, write me, I am beautiful.” Umberto Eco
I also created a vision board on Pinterest. Images always spark my imagination.
Writing Resources:
25 Ways To Plot, Plan, and Prep Your Story by Chuck Wendig
Expanded Story Elements Checklist by Alexandra Sokoloff
The Future Of Storytelling free course
How to Make Sure Your NaNo Project Isn’t a Hot Mess by Jami Gold
Do you have a favorite authors quote to inspire you?
What tricks do you have to motivate you?
I want to commend Nadia, the Niche Mommy Network and conference staff for putting together such a great event. It was my first time attending the Niche Parent Conference. The intimate atmosphere left time for lots of networking. I connected with many online friends for the first time in person and reconnected with many friendly familiar faces I hadn’t seen in awhile. This is a great conference to attend if you are ready to take your blog to the next level so keep an eye out for next year’s dates.
There were many interesting panels and workshops to choose from focusing on things like the business of blogging to advice on growing your blog. These are some of the sessions I attended along with some of the wonderful things I learned.
How Much is it Worth? The State of Social Media with Ted Murphy, CEO of IZEA, Inc
Ted Murphy has many years of experience building businesses. One of my favorite takeaways from this session was his insistence that bloggers must get paid for their time and work. It does take anywhere from 6 to 8 hours to edit photos and write great content. Not to mention the cost of equipment. It takes money to run a business. Value yourself and your work and others will too.
#NicheParent13 @tedmurphy the quality of your #blog content is what counts the most #blogging tips
— Letty (@BellaVidaLetty) September 6, 2013
How to Grow Your Email List, Influence, and Monetize your Blog with Laura Fuentes of Momables and SuperGlue Mom
One of my favorite sessions was given by Laura Fuentes. She spoke frankly and honestly about her journey as a blogger and shared step by step how she grew her platform. It was an information packed session and I learned many things which I will be implementing in the near future.
#NicheParent13 @SuperGlueMom focus on brands & products you like & use #blogging tips
— Letty (@BellaVidaLetty) September 6, 2013
Secrets for a Successful Freelance Writing Career with Lorraine C. Ladish
Lorraine has many years of experience as both writer and editor. As a writer it was wonderful to learn industry insights. One of her best tips was not to take criticism personally and maintain good relationships. In an industry in flux you never where they or you might work next.
#NicheParent13 @lorrainecladish of @MAMIVERSE freelance #writers need to treat it as a #Business & learn the #Writing craft
— Letty (@BellaVidaLetty) September 6, 2013
Start-up Secrets & Tools for the 21st Century Woman with Celest Benn & Divina Rodriguez
I’m glad I attended this session because it refocused me onto a business mindset and both speakers were very motivating.
#NicheParent13 #sexystartup @TrumpetingMedia @DancingHotdogs decide if you want to run a lifestyle or buyout company then put a number onit
— Letty (@BellaVidaLetty) September 6, 2013
Past the Pitch: Brand Relationship 2.0 with Sili Recio and Eileen Campos
In this session Sili shared her media kit and gave great tips on how to pitch brands. Not only did she share great information but she gave us yummy samples of International Delight creamers in different flavors. Thanks Sili, who knows a girls gotta have her cup of coffee every day.
Vlogging – Making it Practical, Fun & Professional with Caroline Murphy
As an artist I always find myself behind the camera and never really thought about being in front of it. Caroline of Smarty Pants Mama spoke with such energy and enthusiasm I just might give a try soon. Thanks for the inspiration and Cover Girl Lipsticks. You know how much I love makeup don’t you?
The Content is the Ad with Ted Rubin
Social marketing strategist and author of Return on Relationship gave his wonderful insight reminding us it is not the amount of followers nor the size of your audience rather the quality of interaction. Learn who your audience is and engage them.
Blogger/Brand Playbook: The Top Spoken and Unspoken Rules of Engagement between brands, bloggers, and blogger networks with Crystal Duncan of IZEA Inc., Courtney Velasquez of Collective Bias, Latina Mom Bloggers, Cristy Clavijo-Kish, Latina Mom Bloggers
#blogging tips fr @latinamomblogs @CrystalDuncan @CourtneyRix Brands love #bilingual #blogs #NicheParent13
— Letty (@BellaVidaLetty) September 7, 2013
New FTC Disclosures: What Marketers & Bloggers Need to Know with SOWEB Inc.
It’s better to be honest and authentic rather than dishonest. Always disclose and you won’t have any problems, your audience will respect you more.
Blogging 101: How to Make Something Out of Nothin’ with Vanessa Bell, Eileen Carter-Campos & Chaton Turner
#blogging101 #NicheParent13 tips from @EileenCCampos keep it real go for what you know
— Letty (@BellaVidaLetty) September 7, 2013
#Blogging101 #NicheParent13 write with an audience in mind
— Letty (@BellaVidaLetty) September 7, 2013
I enjoy attending conferences, learning new things and networking.
What conferences do you recommend for taking your blog or business to the next level?
Blogging conferences are the perfect place to connect with people and keep up to date on what’s new in your industry. It’s an excellent opportunity to ask questions and share information with like minded individuals in a learning environment that’s actually fun. It’s the face time that builds both social and professional relationships. The following are a few tips to help you show up to your next conference well prepared.
Set Your Goals
To get yourself ready for a conference the first thing to do is find out what your goals are. Begin by determining exactly what you would like to get from the conference.
For more tips on how to prepare for a Blogger Conference continue reading my guest post on The Niche Mommy website.
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“All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality.” Martin Luther King Jr.
“It occurs to me that our survival may depend upon our talking to one another.” Dan Simmons
“Focus on how to be social, not on how to do social.” Jay Baer
“Quit counting fans, followers and blog subscribers like bottle caps. Think, instead, about what you’re hoping to achieve with and through the community that actually cares about what you’re doing.” Amber Cadabra
Three weeks ago Instagram announced the capability to embed photos because it was its most requested feature since they disabled the twitter share capability. This is fantastic because now I don’t have to download the photos from my phone then upload them again to my website.
On the Instagram website it says you will see a new share button but for some reason I don’t see that share button on my laptop. I do see three dots. So whether you see the share button or the three dots when clicked, you get the embed option. Simply copy the code and paste it into your preferred editor. I currently use WordPress.
When you use this code you do not have to worry about photo credit, a link right back to your instagram profile appears right above the photo along with creator’s username, the number of Likes and comments it has received. Regardless of where it is embedded everyone can see who the content belongs too. Another important note is ONLY photos marked public can be embedded.
10 Reasons to Use Instagram
Have you used the instagram embed feature yet? What do you think?
Are we connected on instagram? If not, leave your links in the comments.
The Niche Mommy Network Announces
The Niche Parent Social Media Conference 2013
#NicheParent13
Connect with the best in social media, marketing, and entrepreneurship at the Niche Parent Conference. The setting will be intimate at 200 attendees to allow meaningful connections between attendees, speakers, and brands present. The conference features a workshop-style agenda giving bloggers hands-on professional development.
Attendees will have a lot to look forward to at this year’s Niche Parent Conference! This year’s conference will offer socially savvy moms and dads headliner keynotes including Ted Rubin, Ted Murphy, CEO of IZEA, Miriam Muley, expert and published author on marketing to women and women of color. Like last year, there will be hands-on innovative workshops taught by Collective Bias and other industry leaders. Empowering sessions will round off our agenda to elevate attendees’ blogs and brands. Finally, Momprenuers and Dadprenuers will walk away with tool-kits to get their startups off the ground AND generating revenue.
Sounds amazing right?! That’s why I wanted to share it with you.
Save the Date: Thursday, September 5th – Saturday, September 7th, 2013
The Niche Parent Conference will be taking place at the beachfront Westin Diplomat Resort & Spa in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida aka paradise. This hotel is ranked in the top 100 meeting hotels in the U.S. by Cvent. Unlike other conferences I’ve been the hotel is family friendly and includes a Kids’ zone for children offering a range of activities.
You do not have to be a parent blogger to attend the conference. I am a lifestyle blogger and will be attending because it’s a great opportunity fine tune my skills as well as network with sponsors and fellow bloggers.
An example of the workshops I’m looking forward to:
These are just a few of the workshops going on during the conference and they continue to add more. You can read about them HERE:
Will you be attending?
This will be my first time and I look forward to seeing you there. Don’t forget to purchase your discounted ticket via the above link or the badge in my sidebar.
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This is a sponsored post opinions are mine.
Today I want to remind you that you have one of the most powerful tools at your disposal and it’s absolutely free. It is your imagination, the action of producing ideas. Imagination can also be referred to as inner vision because it’s the ability to form new images which are not perceived through our senses such as sight and hearing. It is an awareness not confined to our senses or the rules and laws of our reality. This is precisely what makes it such an effective and powerful tool.
Create
Without the boundaries of the real world we are free to create and reinvent the world. From these creations we may not only inspire ourselves but others as well.
Transform
By using our imagination we can see beyond our current condition and find new insight into how the present changes our future. Viewing things from new perspectives can allow us to tap unrealized potential. We may imagine ways to make our dreams come true.
Solve Problems
By comparing our imaginations to reality we may prevent bad outcomes. Seeing things from different perspectives allows us to generate alternatives. It allows us to tap into the knowledge of possibility. By enabling you to imagine all sorts of scenarios, it alerts you to dangers as well as opportunities.
Deal with Emotions
We can deal with emotions by generating alternate scenarios with different outcomes. For example, if you fear something you can imagine a way that you are able to conquer that fear.
Discover
Imagination allows us to remove any earthly boundaries granting us the ability to take fresh new perspectives. This helps us uncover things we might not have been able to see before or discover things we never knew of. One way is by empathizing with others and seeing the future through their eyes.
Feeling Free
In your imagination, you can travel anywhere in the speed of light, without any obstacles. There are no limits or boundaries. In addition you are absolute free to express yourself.
You are already imagining scenarios when you worry, feel anxious or stressed. By using your imagination you can access your potential and begin creating the life of your dreams. There are no limits to positive energy. Here is exactly how to use your imagination to zone in and focus on making your dreams come true in ten easy steps.
10 Steps to Tap Into the Power of Imagination to Make Your Dreams Come True
10 Steps to Tap Into the Power of Imagination to Make Your Dreams Come True
– Think about your ideal life and begin with answering what your ideal house would look like and where it is located.
– Imagine your dream job. What tasks are you performing?
– There are no limits when using your imagination. Name 5 things that would allow you to live in your dream home.
– There are no limits to what you can imagine. What 5 things can you do today to get you closer to your dream job?
– Visualize your life getting better. What does that look like?
– Imagine yourself succeeding. What small successes can get you closer to that?
– What 5 goals can you create to attain your dream home?
– What 5 goals can you create to attain your dream job?
– Expect the best possible thing to happen to you. What would that be?
– What 5 changes can you make right now to get you started?
If you are not comfortable with using your imagination here are some ways to get you started.
10 Ways to Stimulate Your Imagination
10 Ways to Stimulate Your Imagination
Will you be using the power of your imagination to create your ideal life?
If you found this post helpful please share it.
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“Imagination is the highest form of research.” Albert Einstein
“I need, therefore I imagine.” Carlos Fuentes
“There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do.” Anaïs Nin
“The greatest gift you were ever given was the gift of your imagination. Within your magical inner realm is the capacity to have all of your wishes fulfilled.” Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
“Everything you can imagine is real.” Pablo Picasso
I am excited to announce I will be opening my blog to guest posts for a brand new blogging series. It will be a great way to network and discover new interesting bloggers you might not otherwise come across. The objective of the series is to empower one another with our best blogging and/or business tips. I want to learn about you and your blog while sharing our best advice with others.
What is guest posting?
Guest posting means writing and publishing an article on someone else’s website or blog. In this case your article will be published on Bella Vida by Letty.
10 Benefits of Guest Posting
10 Benefits of Guest Posting
– It gives you and your blog exposure to a new audience.
– It’s a way to grow your platform.
– Creates relationships with other bloggers.
– Links back to your blog are good for your SEO and rankings.
– Build the reputation of a real expert in your niche.
– Get introduced to new niches you were unaware of.
– Create an impressive online resume.
– Learn from other bloggers.
– Increase your influence.
– Build your writing credentials.
Do you want to guest post on this blog?
I am looking for quality, insightful and opinionated posts from people who have blogs. These are posts in which you share your experience, thoughts and knowledge. Don’t be afraid to submit even if your blog is new, I’m sure you have something teachable to share.
All guest posts will be highly promoted across all of my social media platforms and will be pinned to my shiny new board at the top of my Pinterest profile.
Submission Guidelines:
1. To be considered, submit a well written original article between 500 and 1000 words. Tell us about your blog in such an exciting way and share your most amazing tip, we will want to visit immediately after reading the post.
2. The subject of your blog post may be business, entrepreneurship, blogging, leadership or empowerment. Your submission should answer one or more of the following questions.
3. Required: What 5 categories or keywords describe your blog? (ie. art, fashion, feminism, tech, business, travel, etc.)
4. Please attach a photo of yourself and your blog logo.
5. Don’t forget to include: Your Name, a one or two sentence bio, Blog Name, and Blog url.
6. Email to: [email protected]
Resources
Here are some great tips about guest posting from some of the biggest professional bloggers:
7 Crucial Tactics for Writing a Wildly Successful Guest Post
How to Guest Post to Promote Your Blog
8 Essential Do’s And Don’ts Of Guest Posting
How to Write a Killer Guest Post: The Art of the Clickthrough
Guest Blogging: The Ultimate Guide
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Style is the perfection of point of view.
The internet and blogging platforms are the greatest things ever invented in my opinion. Previously we were stuck with only one view, the corporate owned media who generates content purely to sell products. Most of which is harmful to our self esteem. It’s not healthy to be bombarded with messages telling you how much you need to improve this or that. The beauty of reading blogs is exposure to alternative perspectives.
Every blog has a particular voice. Writing voice is the uniqueness of an authors writing style. It’s not just the words they use but also the perspective they bring to them. On this blog I write about subjects I care about. One tends to write more passionately about things we find important. I use certain expressions and certain styles which all contribute to my unique voice.
The more you develop your voice the more successful you will become with your readers. Infusing your writing with your personality helps engage your audience. Revealing your personality gives you authenticity making you a reliable source to your audience.
10 Steps to Finding Your Blogs Writing Voice
10 Steps to Finding Your Blogs Writing Voice
Style is the perfection of point of view.
The more you write the easier it will be to find your voice. How would you describe your unique voice?
If you have a blog be sure to leave it in the links so I can visit.
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“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice.” T.S. Eliot
“Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” Rumi
“Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another’s skin, another’s voice, another’s soul.” Joyce Carol Oates
“When people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at a time.” Laurie Halse Anderson
“If you hear a voice within you say „you cannot paint“, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” Vincent van Gogh
“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” Steve Jobs
A Lie Can Travel Halfway Around the World While the Truth is Still Putting On Its Shoes
When you are a descendant of the invisible people’s the truth becomes sacred. At least it did for me. For a long time I held ‘the truth’ close to me and it became precious. I would use it often as a weapon, whipping it about and clobbering lies as hard as could until finally pounding the life out of the lie. But holding on so tightly to the truth became a burden. It’s painful to be rejected or ignored by those who just can’t handle the truth. And I will concede, the truth can be a very hard pill to swallow. Sometimes the truth can be as blinding and searing as staring directly at the sun for a preposterous amount of time. I know I’ve been scarred by the truth way more than once. I personally just prefer the truth to being lied too.
“Truth is neither universal nor verifiable.” Lee Gutkind
I found this photo while googling my brand Bella Vida. It’s not me. However, the point is, some people might believe it’s me. I posted it on facebook as an experiment and I noticed not everyone read my comment stating this was not me. My personal reaction was to laugh. I’m non judgmental about things that have nothing to do with me but I’m sure it would offend some conservative family members or potential business contacts. Yes, each person has a right to their opinion but what happens when people believe the lie?
I’m sure this has happened to everyone at one time or another regarding serious and sometimes not so serious issues be it at school, work or in your personal life. I know I was particularly vulnerable as a teen when rumors can and do inflict emotional damage.
What has helped me get past this problem is having stopped judging others. I stopped judging people long ago, and as journalist and debater it has become easier to separate opinions from facts. Each of us shapes our opinions through the narrow scope of our life experiences. No two people’s will be the same. Therefore, I understand their opinion has everything to do about them and very little about me. And I guess I’m so used to disagreeing and debating I don’t take it personally. Most of the time anyway. I can only try today to be better than I was yesterday.
Facts vs. Opinions
Facts are things demonstrated to exist or known to have existed and can be proven with evidence while opinions are judgment or belief not founded on certainty or proof rather are based on feelings, preferences or bias.
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” Marcus Aurelius
How to Deal with Rumors
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“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” Fyodor Dostoyevsky
“The liar’s punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.” George Bernard Shaw
“Don’t waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.” Paulo Coelho
“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world…would do this, it would change the earth.” William Faulkner